Archived July 2001 ------------------------------------------------ Warning: This story is rated R. If you are under 18 years then please do not read any further ------------------------------------------------ Natalie Lambert sat curled up, bare feet tucked under her, on the end of her couch, listening to the rain drip outside the window. It was late afternoon and she had the night off. She sighed, wishing that she had the nerve to call Nick and invite herself over to his place. For a while they had spent many of their mutual nights off there, watching videos, but lately Nick had seemed to withdraw. It had been several months since the last movie night. "Stop it Lambert," she said aloud. "Just because every muscle in your body turns to jelly whenever you are around Nick Knight, doesn't mean that you have that effect on him." She could feel tears threatening to fill her eyes. Ever since Nick Knight, vampire, had sat up on her examining table almost three years earlier, she had been fighting the attraction she felt for him. Lately, despite her best efforts, she had been losing that fight. She felt that Nick counted her as a good friend, but she wanted to be more than that to him. "It's not like he didn't make it very clear from the beginning that any relationship we had would be strictly platonic," she reminded herself, as the tears started to roll down her cheeks. She pulled Sidney into her arms and cuddled him as she gave vent to her emotions. Nick paced the large loft he called home, a dark green bottle of cow blood gripped tightly in his hand. He was angry with himself. He knew, and his perfect vampiric memory offered plenty of examples, that to get emotionally involved with a mortal was at the very least an exercise in frustration and at worst another death on his soul. Yet, knowing all this, he had allowed himself to fall in love with Natalie Lambert. 'Not that she's ever given the least hint that she views me as anything other than an interesting puzzle,' he thought with sadness. He had enjoyed the nights she would come by the loft and they would watch movies together, but the temptation to pull her into his arms had become harder and harder to resist. He had tried to put some distance between them, terrified that he would give in and, even if he managed to not harm her, do something that would cause her to despise him. He should have left Toronto the moment he found out that she was a resistor, but there was something about her that held him. Nick had known many women, mortal and vampire, in his almost 800 years of life, but Nat was different. None of the others had seemed to reach into his very soul and soothe it like she could with just a smile. He wondered what it would be like to take her in his arms, to hold her close feeling her body against his own, and show her the depth of his feelings for her. With a sound that was almost a sob of agony, he threw the bottle against the brick wall and ran his hands through his hair. He could not go on like this. He grabbed his long black leather coat from a chair and headed out of the loft. Nick sat in the Caddy, across the street from Nat's apartment. He'd been sitting, just staring at her window, for almost an hour while trying to decide if he had the nerve to go up to her apartment. At last, he opened the car door and got out. Quickly crossing the street, he climbed to the second floor of the building and approached her door. His keen ears picked out the sound of a radio playing and the familiar sound of her heartbeat. Somehow, the knowledge that she was not with some other man was comforting. Taking a deep breath, he knocked. Nat had finally gotten up enough nerve to call Nick, only reach his answering machine. Disappointed, and somehow a little jealous at the thought that he was most likely with Janette, she had just hung up the phone when she heard a knock at her door. She went to it and peeked through the small viewer. Her heart leapt when she recognized Nick standing in the hallway. Quickly she unlocked the door. Nick smiled as the door opened. "Hi, Nat. I was out driving, ended up in your neighborhood, and thought I'd stop by and see if you might want some company." Nick said, suddenly feeling awkward. He drank in the way her hair tumbled around her shoulders and down her back like a burnished halo. He longed to feel it between his fingers. He frowned slightly as he noted that her eyes were reddened, as if she'd been crying. To his relief, she smiled and opened the door wider. "Sure, I'd love some company." Nat said. She couldn't help but feel elated. He wasn't with Janette; he was here with her! "Come on in." Nat noticed him frown slightly, and wished that she were wearing something other than the loose tee shirt and old jeans she had on. Nick followed her inside. He'd only been to her apartment a few times, she usually came to the loft if they had something concerning his treatment to discuss. He liked the feel of her place; it was warm and soothing, like her. He followed her to the living room, and after a moment's hesitation sat on a chair across from the couch. He was grateful to sit, he could feel his desire for her causing a very physical reaction that would soon be visible had he remained standing. Nat sat on the couch, every nerve in her aching to have him next to her. She wanted to feel his arms around her, to taste his mouth with her own. She could feel the moisture between her legs that his mere presence in the room caused. She smiled shyly at him, nervous and unsure of just why he was here. Her heart skipped a beat as the thought that he might be here to say he was moving on crossed her mind. She looked at him. He did seem to be upset about something. Nick realized that this was not the best idea he'd ever had. Being in the loft around Nat was hard enough, but in this much smaller room he was intensely aware of the sound of her heart and her unique scent. He could feel his breath quicken as his mind reeled with the intoxicating odor of her. She smelled of honey and oranges, scents that made him remember the feel of the sun on his face. He wasn't sure if he could stand being this close to her and keep both his desire for her and his beast in check. He knew that for Nat's safety he should leave, but he lacked the will to do so. He needed to be near her, needed to try and memorize everything about her. He feared that he would never be able to act upon his love for her, but he could fantasize. He'd spent many a long day doing that in the past several years. He looked at her as she sat across from him. He could tell from the sound of her heart that she was nervous. "I probably should have called first. I hope I'm not interrupting anything." He wondered if she could see the longing in his eyes. "No, that's okay. I was just sitting here, thinking." She looked at him with warm, loving eyes, which widened a bit as she heard her next words. "I'm glad you stopped by, I've missed the movie nights we had at the loft." Nat wanted to find a nice dark hole and crawl into it. 'How could I have said that!' She screamed in her mind. Nick felt his own heart jump. 'She's missed me!' He felt his lips widen in a grin, even as he reminded himself why he'd avoided having her over. "I've missed them, too." He admitted quietly. He saw the puzzled look she gave him, and knew that she must wonder why he'd stopped them. They sat in silence for several minutes. "I'd offer you something to drink, but I'm afraid I don't have anything in the house that you could tolerate." She said, smiling in an effort to lighten the mood that had descended over them. "That's okay, I guess I should be leaving anyway." Nick said rising. Nat stood too, she didn't want him to leave. "You don't have to. We can listen to some music, or watch a video." She offered. Nick looked at her; he could feel the beast lurking just below the surface. He wanted to stay, to spend time close to her. "Nat, I can't. It's not safe for you to have me around you." "Why isn't it safe?" she asked. "You're around me every night at work. Why can't we be together here or at your loft?" She looked into his eyes. "I know you told me that we could never be more than friends, but I'm having a difficult time convincing my heart of that." She said softly. She saw the stunned look on his face and was sure that she had totally misread what he had been trying to tell her. Embarrassed, she went to move past him, intending to use the excuse of fixing something to drink to compose herself. As she drew level with where he stood, Sidney suddenly darted underfoot, causing her to stumble. She felt herself starting to fall, then felt strong, but gentle arms catch her. Nick reached out and grabbed Nat as she tripped, instinctively pulling her against him. He could feel the warmth of her skin through her clothes and smell the musky scent of her sex. Her heartbeat filled his ears and a powerful wave of desire and need swept through him. When she lifted her face to his, he saw that desire and need reflected in her own eyes. Without another thought, he brought his mouth down to hers, capturing her lips in a deep, passion filled kiss. The feel of Nick's arms around her caused Nat to gasp as every nerve in her responded by sending a jolt of desire rushing through her body. She leaned against him, wanting to stay in his arms forever. She raised her eyes to his, and saw his need. Nat felt her legs trembling as Nick's mouth found hers. She could feel the strong muscles of his body and the hard bulge of his manhood as he crushed her to him. Her own juices were dampening her panties and she felt a warm rush of pure lust. She returned his kiss with a ferocity and passion that surprised her, thrusting her tongue into his mouth, tasting him as she had only dreamed of doing. Nick felt Nat's response and it only fuel his need. One hand cradled her head, the silky feel of her hair caressing his skin. His other hand glided along her body, sliding under the loose tee shirt to savor the soft warmth of her skin. He lifted it until his cool fingers brushed against the fullness of her breast and he gently cupped his hand around its softness. His groin ached, as his erection grew, pressing almost painfully against his confining clothing. He felt Nat's hands as she explored the taut plains of his back. They were warm and delicate, making him think of butterflies' wings, as they danced along his body. When one of her hands brushed against his manhood, the sensation of pleasure threatened to overwhelm him. He felt the vampire surge forward and, as his eyes changed to glowing golden orbs and his fangs dropped, he tore himself from their embrace with a sob of despair. He didn't release her, but held her head against his chest, loathed to let her see the monster he was. Nat felt Nick stiffen, just before he broke their kiss, and knew that the vampire had emerged. The pain she heard in the sob that was wrenched from him tore at her heart. She leaned against him, catching her breath, then pulled back enough to look into his face. The vampire stared back at her, but she felt unafraid. She was where she belonged, in the embrace of the man she loved and nothing was going to keep them apart! "It's all right, Nick. I'm not afraid of this part of you." She said calmly. Nick knew that he should let her go, but he couldn't. He wanted her too badly. Her calm voice surprised him. "How can you bear to look at me? How can you stand there and not be repulsed by the evil monster that I am?" He wondered, his voice harsh. "I see the man that I am in love with, not a monster. I see a person that I know is not evil, but good. Who tries to do the right thing, no matter how difficult it may be. Who is capable and worthy of sensitivity, of caring, and of love." Nat said, her love for him shining in her eyes. "I see the man I want to spend the rest of my existence with, no matter how long or short that might be." She raised her hand and laid it along the side of his face, feeling how he pressed his cheek against it. Nick closed his eyes, wanting to hold this memory forever. At last he opened them and gazed into her clear blue eyes. "Nat, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my existence, but my love can only destroy you." He said sadly. "I don't believe that, Nick. I know that our love can overcome the vampire. I know that you will never harm me, and I want us to be together, to be lovers." Her voice, while soft, was firm and sure. "We have to try, Nick. I don't want to find myself ten years from now, alone, wishing that I had taken the chance to love you. I'd rather try and die in your arms or become a vampire than have that happen." She stepped back from him and held out her hand. "Please, Nick?" she whispered. Feeling like he was in a trance, Nick reached out and took her hand. He felt her squeeze it and her radiant smile was like a soothing balm to him. "I want to believe you're right, Nat. I want to be with you fully, but that means I must have your blood. Are you certain that you want to take this risk?" "I have never been more certain of anything in my life." Nat could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Nick looked at her for a moment longer, then stepped forward and kissed her on the forehead. "All right, we'll try." He said. They walked into Nat's bedroom. Once there, they again embraced. Nick's kiss was tender, passionate and so full of love that Nat thought she might collapse from joy. He gently lifted her tee shirt and removed it. His lips placed soft kisses on her shoulders and neck. His hands found the catch of her bra and it followed the shirt, freeing her breasts to his gaze. He lowered his head, slowly working his way down to them, licking and kissing each inch of her soft, creamy skin. The taste of her, the scent of her blood as it rushed just beneath the surface intoxicating him. As Nick's mouth closed over one of her nipples, Nat moaned with pleasure and arched her back to press even closer to him. She felt her entire body quiver as he sucked on her nipples and teased them with his tongue. She laced her fingers in his wavy hair as she urged him to continue. Nat was panting with delectation by the time his mouth left her breast to continue down her flat abdomen. She felt him undo her jeans and then the coolness of his fingers as he slipped them into the sides of the bikini panties she had on. Nick had lost himself in the taste and feel of Nat's body, suckling like a child at her breasts. Only the persistent ache in his groin caused him to leave them. He undid the jeans she had on, and slipped both them and the delicate panties she wore beneath them over her hips. Now bared to him, the rich woman scent of her sex filled his head, increasing the urgency of his actions. He gazed at her, awed by her beauty. He saw her skin redden slightly as she blushed under the intensity of his gaze. He slowly rose and brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face. "You are beauty personified." Nick murmured before once again claiming her mouth with his own. His hand caressed the wiry curls of her pubic hair before gently probing her innermost self. He could feel the slickness of her and longed to feel her surrounding his engorged member. He felt her hands on his skin as she unbuttoned his shirt and he released his hold on her only long enough to shrug the shirt off. Her lips seemed to float over his skin, a trail of fire marking their passage. He sighed in relief as she undid his trousers and pushed them and his underpants over his hips, at last freeing his penis from its prison. When her soft, warm hand closed around it, he gasped in delight at the sensation. Nat felt elation burst through her soul at Nick's murmured words and eagerly accepted his questing tongue with her own. Her hands moved of their own volition, swiftly undoing the buttons on his shirt. At last she could feel and see his pale, smooth skin. She broke the kiss to taste his skin with her lips and tongue; his sounds of pleasure making her ever bolder. She undid his belt and with fingers that trembled only a little, undid his pants, pushing them and his underwear down. Her eyes widened slightly as she took in the length and thickness of his shaft. Taking a deep breath she carefully closed her hand around it, feeling its hard coolness. She could feel an ache in her very core; one that she knew would cease only when he filled her. She looked up at Nick, her hunger for him clear in her eyes. Nick lifted Nat into his arms and laid her on the bed, then lowered his body to lie next to her. Every inch of his skin that came in contact with her seemed to be hypersensitive and he relished the feel of her. He drew her into his arms, his hands stroking and caressing her, causing Nat to moan with pleasure. Nat pressed her body against Nick's cool firm one. She could feel his engorged member against her nude stomach, and she softly grasped him, stroking him slowly, her fingers becoming slick with his pre-ejaculatory fluids. She writhed in rapture as she felt Nick's fingers exploring the area beneath her dark triangle of hair. Ripples of enjoyment caused her to shiver with anticipation. He stroked her swollen clit as he suckled her breasts and Nat felt the building warmth of a slowly approaching orgasm. She kissed and licked his neck, nibbling lightly at the skin. She smiled as she felt Nick react to her actions, his hardness throbbing in her hand. Just before she reached a climax, he nudged her legs apart with his knee and eased himself between them. Nat raised her hips, baring her core to him as he slowly entered her. He heard her gasp, as he slid into her tight, damp, hot center. To his joy, she thrust her hips toward him taking him fully and deeply inside her. He stayed still for a moment, just luxuriating in the feel of her surrounding him, as he kissed her eyes, and cheeks. Her arms were around his chest, and she wrapped her legs about him, making him her prisoner. The feel of Nick's cool manhood as it slipped deep inside her caused a small burst of delight throughout Nat's body. She wrapped her legs around his hips, wanting to hold him there, so she could savor every second of this wonderful sensation. Her body soon demanded more, as did Nick's and at the same moment they began to move in unison. They both began to lightly thrust in a slow rhythm that gradually increased in speed and force. Nat was crying out in ecstasy, her blue eyes locked lovingly with his golden ones. She screamed his name as a powerful orgasm shook her body, arching her back while she threw back her head exposing the slim column of her neck to him. The sight of the pulsing vein in her neck and the feel of her contacting around him pushed his need to the limit. With a silent prayer, and a low growling sound, he sank his fangs into her. Nat felt the briefest pain as Nick bit her, followed immediately by such pleasure that she came again. Almost at once, images and sensations flooded into her mind. She saw and felt everything that Nick had experienced in his long existence. As her mind struggled to put some sense of order to the flood, three things stood out the sharpest. Nick's terrible guilt over his actions in the past, his fear that he would harm her and, strongest of all, his deep all encompassing love for her. Nat focused all of her being on this love, trying to project her acceptance for what her was, her faith in his ability to control the beast and the total, intense love she felt for him. She felt his body shudder as he reached his own climax. As Nat's blood filled his mouth, Nick knew in an instant that her love for him was as strong as his was for her. Even as his own soul was bared to her, he felt all of her hopes and dreams, all of her fears and sorrows. Shining brighter than the summer sun at midday, was her unshakable love and faith in him. To his joy and amazement, the beast in him was tamed by the power of her love, becoming sated with only a few mouthfuls of this, the sweetest nectar he'd ever known. He felt the darkness that was the vampire fade in the purity of the bright light that was Nat. A cold, hard knot that had been in his heart for over 750 years, loosened and dissolved. Nick felt a peace of soul, a calmness of spirit that he had never dared to hope to attain. As his fangs left her throat, the vampire receded. Nick could hear the strong steady beating of Nat's heart and knew that she had been right, he would never harm her. Nat, her face aglow with happiness, looked up into Nick's now blue eyes. "I love you Nick, and I always will." She said in a voice fraught with emotion. Nick eased his weight from her and pulled her into his arms. "I love you, Nat. I never hoped to feel the peace I feel with you. You are my soul, without you by me I am only a shadow. I'll never leave you, and I will love you forever." They kissed and snuggled together. Sleep called to them both, a sleep that would be filled with wonderful dreams of the future that now lay before them. The End