Archived April 2002
Warning: This story is rated R. If you are under
18 years then please do not read any further
Natalie Lambert sat on the plane watching the billowing clouds passing
below. She was returning to Toronto after a week in the sun. When she'd
left on what was being called an extended vacation, she hadn't been sure
that she would ever be going back. Natalie wasn't one to try and fool
herself. She hadn't gone on vacation. She'd fled after nearly being killed
by Nick's master, LaCroix, and having her heart broken. She'd needed time
to sort out in her mind the events of that Valentine's Day and those of the
days just preceding and following it. The funny part was that this wasn't
the first time she'd fled Toronto because of an incident in which she'd
nearly been killed. The last time, her relationship with Nick had also
played a large part in her desire to get away.
It had only been a year earlier that she'd had her nearly fatal encounter
with Roger Jameson. At that time, she'd been so desperate to deny the
feelings that she had for Nick, that she'd turned to the first apparently
normal male that had shown up. Unhappily, apparently normal had turned out
to be far from the reality. She shuddered as she thought about what might
have happened if Nick hadn't found her when he did. That moment in the
greenhouse, when Nick had pulled her into his arms, Natalie had known in
the deepest part of her soul that she was hopelessly and unashamedly in
love with him. The way that he'd held her, the words he'd murmured in her
ear, had done more to calm her than anything else had done.
Now, here she was again having nearly escaped death.
She sighed as she remembered the things she'd said to Nick when her
memories of that night at Azure had returned. She'd been hurt, angry and
confused when she recalled, not only her encounter with LaCroix, but also
the way Nick had calmly denied any feelings for her to his master after
having told her, just a day earlier, that he loved her. She'd believed him
that night in her apartment and his actions, the tender way he'd held and
kissed her, had seemed to reinforce his words. After hearing him at Azure,
coldly denying any feelings for her, she didn't know what to believe. Her
heart was telling her that he had to be lying to LaCroix, but she just
wasn't sure. When she'd gone to his loft, she'd meant to stay calm. Once
there, however, all the pain had welled up and she'd ended up raging at
Nick and then storming out into the bright sunlight, ignoring his pleas for
her to stay and let him try and explain. She'd called her office, arranged
for time off, and been on a plane to Bermuda in less than two hours. She'd
ignored the almost constant ringing of both her regular and cell phones and
her plane had left long before the sun had grown low enough for Nick to be
able to seek her out in person.
She'd spent most of her time during the past ten days laying in the sun and
thinking. Her first reaction had been one of instinctive self-preservation.
To that end, she'd had mentally composed a letter of resignation. She'd
start a new life somewhere else, somewhere with lots of bright sunshine and
where no handsome blond vampires lurked to steal her heart. It was only
when she realized that she was sitting on the beach with tears running down
her face and sobbing uncontrollably that she knew she could not bear to
never see Nicholas Knight again. She stopped trying to deny that she was
attracted to Nick and wanted their relationship to be more than 'just
friends'. She knew that to totally fulfill what she'd thought was their
mutual desire for one another would, beyond doubt, place her in the
position of being either killed or brought across, yet she still ached for
him. 'Because no matter what, I love him with every fiber of my being.'
She'd admitted to herself.
This realization had forced her to acknowledge the almost certainty that,
if she hadn't totally alienated him with her behavior, it would mean
stepping into the darkness of Nick's world. Yet, to her thinking, any
existence that held the love that she'd felt from him that Valentine's Eve
night was not dark. Natalie knew that so long as Nick was a part of her
life, she would be content to bask in the warming light of his love.
The flight attendants were moving down the aisle of the plane and Nat took
a deep breath as she gave a final, careful thought to what she was about to
do. Her heart told her that her decision was the only possible one and she
put her seatback in the upright position, getting ready to land and to face
her future. She said a silent prayer that she hadn't waited too long, that
her anger and behavior at that last meeting with Nick had not driven him
Nick got out of bed, he'd been unable to sleep anyway, and padded
downstairs to the kitchen. He hadn't really rested since Nat had stormed
out of the loft over a week ago. He had stood there, powerless because of
the sunlight outside to go after her, calling her name. He'd spent the
next several hours trying to reach her by phone to no avail. That night,
when he'd at last been able to go to her apartment she'd was already gone.
He'd gone to the morgue in search of her and found out from Grace that Nat
had taken an extended leave of absence. Grace seemed to think that she'd be
back about three weeks, but Nick feared that she might never return. He'd
spent the ten days since then praying that she would call, but his phone
had stayed silent. Nick sighed and pulled a bottle from the fridge.
Eschewing a glass, he took several long swallows from it as he crossed to
Sitting down, the bottle cradled in his lap, he allowed his thoughts to
drift back to that night at Azure. The thought of what might have happened
to her chilled Nick to the core. If he hadn't gotten to Azure when he did,
Nick had no doubts that LaCroix would have drained her and then left her
dead body for Nick to find. Nick had lied to LaCroix to save her life, and
hurt her terribly in the process. Now, she was gone and there was no
certainty that he'd ever see her again. In 800 years, he had never known
such misery. Nick knew he could find Nat if he really tried, he had the
resources to hire the best private detectives around, but he wasn't sure
that he had the right to do so. He admitted to himself that he was, in
fact, afraid that she would reject him if he did find her. Nick knew that
he could not exist if that happened.
He tried to figure out how everything had gone so wrong. He'd hoped, in the
first days following Valentine's Day, that his efforts to make her forget
his own deep love for her and the ordeal with LaCroix had worked. Even
though it was painful to him, he'd drawn comfort from the fact that she was
safe and he could at least still be a friend to her. He wished now that he
had admitted his love for Nat to LaCroix and brought her across. Even
though it would have meant condemning her to an existence without the sun,
at least he would have her with him.
Two weeks after Valentine's Day, Nat had stormed in and then out of the
loft, her memory back. The fact that it had, ultimately, only lasted two
weeks told him just how strong an individual Nat was. Not that he'd had any
doubt of that, her strength was but one of the things that had drawn him to
her. He'd fought against the attraction he felt for her, but he had always
known in his heart that he was deeply in love with her. He longed to wake
with her in his arms, to know all of her and, although a part of him wished
to deny it, to have her beside him for eternity. He'd existed for almost
800 years and never felt this way toward another woman, not even Alyssa,
who he'd married. Nat was a ray of golden light in his otherwise dark
existence. When, finally, he'd admitted to her how much he cared for her,
how much he loved her, he had never been happier. Even though he had
refused, at that time, to risk her by fully consummating their love, they
had been able to find some satisfaction for their burning need for each
other. Nick leaned his head back against the couch's back, red tinted tears
of loss silently leaking from his eyes, remembering that one wonderful night.
Nat gathered her bags from the carousel at the airport and headed for her
car in the parking garage. She shoved the bags into the trunk, got in the
car and started it. No one knew she was back in Toronto. Hoping that she
would not find it empty, she drove to Nick's loft.
The sound of the lift's motor engaging startled Nick from his reverie. He
concentrated and felt his heart thump as he recognized Nat's heartbeat.
Sitting the bottle on the table, he stood and started toward the lift door,
then stopped, unsure of why Nat was here. Used to so many disappointments
over the centuries, he feared that she had come to tell him that she was
leaving Toronto for good. Carefully hiding his fear beneath a placid
surface, he waited for her to arrive.
Nat could feel her palms sweating as she rode up in the lift. She knew
that Nick was still here, the Caddie parked neatly in the garage had told
her that much. Now that she was here, she wondered at the wisdom of just
barging in on Nick in the middle of the day. For all she knew he wouldn't
want to see her after the way she'd treated him or he might be with
Janette. Either way, she'd feel like a fool. When the lift came to a halt,
she hesitated for a moment before grasping the door and opening it. Her
eyes widened with surprise as she saw Nick, wearing a rumpled pair of black
silk pajamas, standing a short distance from the door. Her eyes met his,
and suddenly deep inside, Nat knew that coming here had not been a mistake,
it had been the best thing she could have done. She stepped forward, and
softly spoke his name.
Nick stood still hearing in her voice all of her feelings for him. He was
afraid to move; afraid to speak, afraid that if he did he'd wake up and
find that this was nothing more than a wonderful dream. He watched as she
approached him, his eyes speaking the volumes that his mouth could not.
Nat stood in front of Nick seeing the mixture of pain, hope and love in his
eyes. "I spent a lot of time thinking this past week," she said. "I even,
at one point, decided that I should just pack up and leave Toronto." She
swallowed and then, seeing the burst of pain that flitted across Nick's
face, hurriedly continued. "That decision lasted all of about 5 seconds,
until I realized that by doing that I would never see you again." She
could feel tears forming in her eyes and dropped her gaze. "I guess the one
thing that I truly discovered this week is that no matter what the risks,
or what I might have to give up, I want...no, I need to be with you." Nat
lifted her head, the tears slipping silently down her cheeks. "The question
now is, do you want to be with me or did you mean what you told LaCroix?"
Nick had listened first in anguish then with growing hope as Nat spoke. He
could feel his breathing increase, as his love for her demanded to be
released. When she finished speaking and stood looking at him, he slowly
reached out and wiped the tears from her face. Cupping her face in his
hands, he marveled at the good fortune that had brought him to her three
years earlier. "If I hadn't convinced LaCroix that I didn't love you, he
would have killed you." He told her softly. "I had to lie to him. I'm sorry
I didn't explain everything to you, but I thought that it would be better,
safer for you if I could make you forget."
Nat looked into his face, "Then when you told me that you loved me and
wanted me, that was the truth?" She could hear her heart pounding with relief.
"I love you and want to be with you more than I have ever wanted anything
in my existence, even my mortality." He whispered as he leaned forward and
captured her lips with his own. He kissed her with great tenderness,
knowing that he had to be truthful with her, had to be certain that she
fully understood the risk of loving him. He felt her response to him, felt
her need and her desire. Breaking the kiss, he held her against him, then
led her to the soft leather couch.
Nat leaned against him feeling his arms cuddling her against him. "I was so
afraid that you wouldn't be here. I'm sorry for how I treated you before I
left." She confessed. The kiss he gave her told her more eloquently than
words that he had forgiven her.
"I can't let you walk into this blindly, Nat. I love and care about you too
much." Nick said, as they snuggled in each other's arms. "If we are to
truly be together, it will mean one of two things."
Nat nodded her head. "I know, I thought about that, too." She looked up at
him, a sad smile on her lips. " I know that for us to be together, to make
love to one another, means that I'll most likely end up being drained by
you and dying or by you bringing me across into your world." She saw the
sadness in his eyes, and reached up to lovingly caress his face. "I know
how much you hate what you are, how you feel that you are somehow evil, but
I don't share that opinion."
"Nat, there are things that I've done, that I fear will cause you to loathe
me. If we make love and I take your blood, neither one of us will have any
secrets from the other. I couldn't bear to have you hate me." Nick said, as
he leaned his cheek against her soft, tousled hair.
"I know that you've done terrible things in the past, Nick, but they don't
matter to me. I know the person you are now, and that person is good, not
evil. I could never hate you for the past, it would be like hating myself."
Nat spoke softly, but the sincerity of her words rang out. "I want to make
love to you, fully and completely. I'm willing to be a part of your
world." She looked into his eyes. "I'm not afraid of your world, Nick. To
me, trading the light of the sun for the ability to fully be with you is a
pretty good deal." She laid her hand on his. "Besides, I still fully intend
to find a cure, it'll just be for both of us."
Nick looked into her eyes and nodded, then lifted her hand to his lips. "I
want you that much and more." He said. Taking her by the hand, he led her
to the stairs. "If you change your mind at any point, just tell me and I'll
stop." He could feel his desire for her burning in his veins.
Nat smiled at him, a smile full of love and joy with no trace of sorrow. "I
won't change my mind."
Together, they climbed to the bedroom. There, Nick took her again in his
arms, kissing her with a passion that he'd not felt in centuries. He sighed
with pleasure as she met his passion with a fire of her own. His tongue
eagerly parted her soft lips, seeking and finding the warm moistness of her
mouth. He caught his hand in her hair, holding her firmly, but with great
gentleness as he explored her mouth, tasting the sweetness of her. He could
feel her hands as they roamed along his back, even as her body molded
Nat felt her world constrict until all she was aware of was Nick. Nick's
hands moving along her body and holding her head. Nick's tongue as he
kissed her with a passion she had only dreamed of existing. Nick's firm,
cool body pressing against her own flushed one. She gave herself over to
her feelings, surprising herself with the wanton way she explored the
planes and curves of his body. Boldly, she reached up and undid the buttons
of his pajama top, sliding her fingers over the smooth skin of his chest
and back. She could feel his body tremble as her hands caressed his skin.
As his hand found her breast and began to knead and play with it, she
moaned deep in her throat.
Nick could feel Nat's arousal and it fanned his own desire into flames of
need. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in the taste and feel of
her, but he knew that he had to have control to ensure that he would stop
in time to be able to bring her across. Regretfully, he at last broke the
"Nat, you have to be certain that this is what you want." He said, as he
lifted her face to look deeply into her eyes. "Once I drink from you, drain
you to the point of near death, there is no turning back. You either have
to be brought across or you will die." He stroked her cheek, trying to not
let his overwhelming desire for her influence her decision.
She looked at him, love shining in her eyes. "I understand, and I'm sure. I
want to be with you, Nick. Forever."
He closed his eyes, and when he reopened them they were shining gold, his
beast released. Nat looked at him, and then laid her head against his
chest. "I am not afraid of you. I know what you are, and I love you."
Nick lifted her in his arms and laid her on the bed. "I promise you that
I'll take care of you. I won't let what happened with Richard happen to
you." He said, as he tenderly stroked her face. 'Or what happened to
Alyssa', he silently promised.
Nat looked trustingly at him. "Thank you. That was the one fear that I had
in making this decision." She blushed slightly. "I want to make love to
you, Nick. I want to know all of you. I love you. I love both the man and
Nick kissed her softly. "I have never known anyone like you. When you left,
I was so afraid that I had lost you. I love you, and I will love you
forever." Nick could hear his voice breaking with emotion. LaCroix had told
him that vampires couldn't love, but Nick knew now that LaCroix was wrong.
"I have to have control of my beast to do this," he explained to Nat. "If I
try it while we are making love, I might not be able to stop in time. When
you come back to me, then we will be one, forever."
Nat nodded her understanding and turned her head, allowing Nick free access
to the smooth, white column of her slender throat. She only gasped
slightly as she felt the sharp prick of his fangs, and then her mind was
immersed in Nick's feelings and memories. She saw the many times he'd
killed, felt his anguish over those deaths and, more strongly than all the
others, she experienced the depth of his love for her. She clung to that,
while trying to send her own feelings of love back to him, as the darkness
Nat suddenly found herself at the edge of a lake. Before her stood an open
doorway and, just in front of the door, Nat recognized a figure that she'd
not seen in many years. With a cry of joy, she hurried toward the person.
"Is it really you, daddy?" Nat said, tears running down her cheeks.
The man folded her into his embrace. "Yes, Nattie, it's me." He kissed the
top of her head. "Your mother and brother are waiting for you inside. Come,
with me and we'll all be together again."
Nat started forward but stopped as a sudden feeling of unease swept over
her. "I'll come, but I can't stay. I have to go back. Nick needs me." She
saw the sorrow that filled her father's eyes.
"If you come with me you can never go back, Nattie." He said quietly. "If
you return to your Nick, there is a chance that you may never be allowed to
join us. You must decide."
Nat looked at the beautiful light that was streaming from the door. A part
of her was drawn to it, but her heart knew what her decision had to be.
"I'm sorry, daddy. I have to go back to Nick. I love him and I want to be
with him. He is my happiness."
Her father nodded. "I knew that would be your answer, but I had to make
sure that you had a choice." Once again he kissed her. "Go and remember
that there is nothing stronger than love. You and Nick share a powerful
love, use it and perhaps one day you will both have your heart's desire."
Nat turned and began to walk away.
When the first taste of Nat's blood filled his mouth, Nick was immediately
lost in the warmth of the love he felt from her. All of her past, every
hurt and every triumph she'd ever known was now a part of him, too. He
savored the knowledge of her, but it was her love for him that outshone
everything else. He drank deeply, sending his own thoughts of love to her.
Nick stopped drinking when he felt Nat slip into deep unconsciousness. He
listened as her heart struggled to carry the little bit of blood left in
her body and knew that unless he gave her his own blood, she would soon
die. He also knew that Nat had to make the ultimate choice to return to him.
Opening his wrist, he collected a glass of blood. Lifting her into his
arms, he placed the glass to her lips. Memories of how he had done this
with Alyssa caused him to say a silent prayer that Nat would indeed come
back to him. At first, it seemed as if she would not. Then, just as Nick
was beginning to despair, Nat swallowed. In moments, her eyelids fluttered
open and Nick was gazing into her softly glowing, golden eyes.
Nat saw the relief that washed over Nick's features and the tremendous love
in his eyes. She smiled, her heart calm, knowing that her decision had been
the right one. She could feel the change in her; the colors of the room
seemed to glow slightly and she was aware that she could hear many small
sounds that she'd never noticed before. All this was pushed to the back of
her mind as she felt Nick's lips close over hers.
Nick drew Nat into a deep, passionate embrace, his tongue plundering her
mouth as his desire was at last unleashed. He felt her respond and
carefully, he teased her fangs into dropping, thrilling at the unabashed
moan of pleasure that emanated from her throat. He could sense, through the
newborn link that they would share for as long as they both existed, that
she was as fervent as he to finally consummate their love. Nick was
determined not to rush this moment; he had waited for so long to be able to
make love to Nat, that he wanted to savor each exquisite sensation to the
As Nick's tongue caused her fangs to drop for the first time, Nat felt a
wave of intense pleasure run through her body. Never had she imagined that
anything so wonderful could exist. She was aware of a mental connection to
Nick that both calmed and excited her at the same time. Knowing that she
would never again be totally alone in the world calmed her but, at the same
time, the mental link seemed to intensify every delectable feeling that
Nick's mouth and hands were producing. She could feel her whole body crying
out for him, wanting to feel him in her and to know all that he was. As he
removed her clothing, slowly dropping kisses on each newly revealed inch of
flesh, she arched against him. She lay back absorbing each of the feelings
that coursed through her. She moaned as Nick briefly halted his attentions
to her, but when she saw that he was merely divesting himself of his own
clothing she moved to assist him. It took them several minutes to
accomplish this task, as neither of them could refrain from touching and
kissing one another's bodies. At last, they both stood nude beside the bed.
"I want to make this special for you, Nat." Nick said as he gently laid her
back on the bed. He joined her and softly trailed his fingers along her
supple curves. "I want you to know exactly how much you mean to me."
Nat ran her fingers through his hair. "I do know, Nick. When I had to
choose, to come back to you or to go through the doorway, I knew in my
heart that there was only one option I could take. I had to be with you and
I knew that your love would always keep me safe and make me happy."
"I pray that I never cause you to feel otherwise." Nick said as he claimed
her mouth with his own. He dropped his lips to her throat and then down to
her soft breasts. As Nat moaned with delight he took first one nipple, then
the other, into his mouth. He sucked on each, and teased them to hardened
nubs with his tongue. At the same time, his hand slowly stroked the firm,
creamy flesh of her inner thighs before seeking the wiry mass of curls that
guarded her innermost core. His gently probing fingers found her slick
moistness and wetting them, he began to softly stoke her clit.
Nat gasped as Nick began to lightly stroke her, causing soft waves of
delicious tension to emanate from her womb throughout her body. This,
combined with his careful attentions to her breasts, caused her fangs to
once again descend and her eyes to glow a deep golden color. As Nick
kissed and licked her body, his lips like soft velvet against her skin, she
lost herself in the flood of pleasure she was experiencing. She reached
for Nick's hard manhood and closed her hand around him. She felt his
pleasure at this action; both in the shiver that ran through his body and
in the mental link she now shared with him. To be able to feel his pleasure
only increased her own and she cried out wordlessly at the joy of it.
Nick slowly increased the speed and pressure of his strokes, stoking the
fires that raged in both of them until he could no longer deny his need to
feel his shaft surrounded by the taut slickness of Nat's core. He deftly
slid his hand away from her just as he eased his thick, throbbing member
inside of her. The upward thrust of her hips enabled him to bury his cock
deeply in her.
Nat felt Nick slide his cock inside her and eagerly accepted him fully.
This was what she had dreamt of happening for three long years and her
happiness was so intense she felt tears leaking from her eyes. Nick softly
kissed them away, murmuring words of love to her, and slowly began to move
in her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, meeting his every thrust
with her own. Her hands roamed over his body, pausing to play with his
nipples before moving downward to grasp his butt. She loved the feel of him
in her. He filled her completely and with each thrust she felt both his
pleasure and her own. Together they climbed to heights of pleasure that
neither had ever dreamed existed. They held themselves at this level for
many minutes, until Nick felt Nat's overwhelming urge for blood. Kissing
her softly, he turned his head, baring his neck to her. "Drink my love," he
urged, "and know me as completely as I know you."
Nat hesitated for only a moment before her new vampiric instincts took over
and she sank her fangs into Nick's throat. Her action triggered both of
their orgasms, the mental link magnifying them until both cried out with
release. Nick slid his hand beneath Nat's head, holding her in position to
drink the blood she needed, even as he urged her to do so. Only when he
could sense that her hunger had abated sufficiently did he at last draw
away from her.
Nat realized that the images she'd received when Nick had taken her blood
were but a fraction of what tasting his blood provided. Now she knew Nick
in a way that no two mortals could ever know one another. She knew his
dreams, dreams that revolved around her and a rather large number of golden
or auburn haired children. 'If he thinks for one minute I'm going to spend
THAT much time pregnant!' Nat thought, only to feel Nick's gentle mental
laugh and a sudden reduction to a more manageable number of children in his
hopes. 'Someday, I promise you.' Nat sent back to him. His love caressed
her and she knew that she would never regret her decision to be with him.
Nat's eyes returned to their soft blue color, as her whole body seemed to
float in a warm tide of love. She gazed into Nick's now clear blue eyes and
knew more joy than she'd experience in the whole of her life. "Please tell
me that making love is going to be this good every time we do it." She said
Nick laughed and pulled her close to him. "Oh no, my dearest heart. It will
get even better." He kissed her as she smiled up at him and snuggled
against him. Reaching down, he drew a cover over them and they rested.