I Know You're Out There Somewhere
by Casey Carpenter
Disclaimer: The FK characters aren't mine, nor is the premise of
FK, nor
anything else that belong to TPTB (though I know we could take
much
better care of them if we did own them :) The song "I Know
You're Out
There Somewhere" is by The Moody Blues.
The story takes place at the end of Last Knight
//I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you//
Nat woke up on the floor, alone. "Nick?" she called out
softly. She
couldn't find her voice at all. Her throat hurt and it felt dry.
She
tried to move but she was too weak to do more than slide her arm
across
the floor.
A figure came through the door and swore. It was quiet for a
moment, as
if sensing something. The voice swore softly again in French and
Nat
watched as Janette's face swam into view. "Natalie..."
Janette lifted Natalie off of the floor and placed her gently on
the
couch. "Nichola did this, did he not?" she said as she
looked through
Nick's kitchen. When Natalie didn't answer she sighed, "I am
sorry
Natalie, I should not have told you of the cure. I should have
known
better...."
Janette approached Natalie with a glass of water. There was
nothing in
Nick's fridge that she could give to Natalie. "Drink,"
she commanded
softly.
Natalie slowly drank, the cool water sliding down her parched
throat.
"Mmm..." she sighed. "Janette...have to...find
Nick...tell him...not his
fault," Natalie mumbled. "Can't let him die...."
"Shh, I know Natalie. I feel his anguish. Lacroix would not
give
Nichola the mercy he wanted," Janette said, understanding.
"I suspect
that Lacroix knew you weren't dead. He wanted Nichola to move on
and
perhaps letting Nichola believe you were dead was the only way he
saw of
this ever happening.
"But, before we do anything, you are going to a
hospital." Janette picked
up Natalie from the couch after she was done drinking and flew
her to the
hospital. Janette made sure the injury story was plausible and
got
Natalie the best care available.
After a few days, Natalie was feeling much better, though she
wanted to
get started on searching for Nick.
Natalie thought. She
sighed. There was so much happening that everything seemed a
blur.
Lora's death, Tracy's death...and before that Vachon and Urs'
deaths. So
much death the past few months, so much pain.
Natalie looked at the clock on the hospital's sterile wall. 3
a.m. She
smiled wryly. Her body was still on night shift hours. She
quietly got
out of her hospital bed and put on her street clothes. She had
stayed
long enough, it was time to get moving. Time to find Nick.
She was opened the door and was about to step into the hallway
when she
bumped into someone. She staggered backward and would have
fallen, if
not for the strong arms that steadied her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Natalie's voice
trailed off as she
realized who was before her. Janette.
"Hello, Doctor. I see you are ready and able to leave,"
Janette said,
somewhat coldly. Natalie eyed Janette suspiciously.
"What does it matter to you?" Natalie countered.
"It matters because I know you plan to look for -him-,"
Janette replied.
"As do I. I came back because of what I felt from him. He
needs me,
though I hate the thought of seeing him after what he did.
Against my
will, he brought me back across." Her eyes grew distant as
she
remembered her last encounter with Nick. She had been mortal
then. And
she had almost died as a mortal, only to have it taken away by
Nick.
Such cruel irony...Lacroix would have approved and she was sure
he had
savored the situation.
Natalie tried to sort out her own feelings. She had always
considered
Janette a rival for Nick. She knew that the two had been close
and had
their own connection to each other. She couldn't help but feel
jealous.
Jealous that she would never become that close to Nick. And when
she
thought she could...it had proved nearly fatal.
, a small voice told Natalie.
"Excuse me," the nurse said she tried to get past the
two women, both in
different worlds, "but could you please move. I need to get
into the
room."
Janette and Natalie moved from the doorway as the nurse made her
way by.
Both women grinned slightly as they realized they both had
completely
zoned out.
"We had better get going," Janette said, walking toward
the elevator.
When she noticed that Natalie wasn't following she turned around.
"Aren't you coming? They already have several days head
start. We need
to work fast."
Natalie stared at Janette.
Well, it was only logical since they both had the same goal. She
shrugged and took off after the female vampire. The two women
eyed each
other carefully as they got into the elevator and nodded in
silent
agreement. They needed to work together, if they didn't, they'd
never
find Nick.
***************************************
//The mist lifting slowly
I can see it way ahead
And I've left behind the empty street
That once inspired my life
And the strength of the emotion
Is like thunder in the air//
Nick stared out the window. The sun slowly rose over the
mountains and
the night retreated. The nights no longer held any meaning for
him.
They just passed him by. What was the point? His beloved Natalie
was
gone. Lacroix was trying to get him to forget the past. Janette
was
gone and didn't want to see him. Tracy was dead as was his job
and life
in Toronto. He had reached the edge. There was nowhere else to
go,
nothing else to do. All he wanted was to join Natalie, and
Lacroix could
not even grant him that.
He had thought of walking into the sun, but something kept him
from doing
it. A small voice in his mind. It said that Natalie would not
want him
to do such a thing, but he wanted so much to honor his promise to
her.
He sighed and watched as the cloudy sky opened up and rained. He
listened to the soft falling of the rain and the wind blowing
through the
trees. If he listened hard enough, he thought he could hear
Natalie
calling to him. Telling him that despite what happened, she still
loved
him. Wishful thinking....
//'Cos the promise that we made each other
Haunts me to the end
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere, somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
And somewhere you can hear my voice//
Natalie sighed as she tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep.
It had
been days since she and Janette had started. They had come up
with few
leads, most of which were dead ends. Dead ends...how appropriate.
Natalie stopped and stared at the ceiling. She closed her eyes
and tried
to let her mind drift.
As she fell into a fitful sleep, she thought of Nick.
Her final thought was of Nick at a window watching a rainy
dawn...
//I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow, somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you//
Janette watched Natalie's sleeplessness with concealed concern.
This was
the sixth day she had seen Natalie like this. It was not good for
her.
She had been through so much and this insomnia was not helping
her.
Janette did not consider Natalie a friend. Not really. She had
always
considered the woman to be so, well, so mortal. But over the past
few
days, she had gotten to know this mortal woman. The woman who
once
annoyed her had become a good acquaintance. An uncommon ally in
with a
common goal. They both sought something lost.
Janette knew that Lacroix would be with Nichola and she wanted to
see her
former father. She also needed to see Nichola and reunite him
with his
love. Only then would this despair she felt through their fade.
Her spirit was weighing heavily on her. Her grief over the loss
of
Robert and Nichola's
anguish for Natalie were feeding off each other, never allowing
the
other's wounds to close as they should.
Yes, she needed some type of end with Nichola, just as Natalie
needed a
resolution with him. They both deserved more than they got, and
he was
going to give it to them, she thought, determined.
********************************************
//The secret of your beauty
And the mystery of your soul
I've been searchin' for in everyone I meet
And the times I've been mistaken
It's impossible to say
And the grass is growing
Underneath our feet//
Lacroix watched his son with worry. So far, he had not tried to
kill
himself, Lacroix
thought.
He observed Nicholas staring out the window. He was thinking of
-her-
again. He was constantly thinking of her. Now Nicholas had a
taste,
finally, of what he went through each and every day when thinking
of his
beloved Fleur. But, it didn't give him the satisfaction he
thought it
would.
Though, in some small way, he was sorry to see the doctor
"die." Was she
dead by now or had some good Samaritan gotten to her in time? She
would never find them if she went
looking. No
doubt she'd look in the large cities, not in the mountainous
regions of
the Rockies.
He had begun to have a certain respect for the good doctor. She
was a
nemesis, but also an ally at times. She had put aside her
personal
grudge against him on several occasions to help protect Nicholas.
A
truly admirable woman in the end....
****************************************
//I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you//
Natalie awoke, startled. Her dream had been filled with so much
despair
and sadness it made her cry. As the tears fell, she heard a voice
whimpering. It was Janette. She was asleep in the chair and
dreaming.
>From the sounds, it must be a bad dream. Just as Natalie was
about to
wake Janette, the sleeping woman woke up shouting,
"No!"
Janette's usually cool face was marred by pain and sorrow.
Natalie
didn't say anything, just as Janette didn't comment on the tears
on
Natalie's face. Both women hugged and wept. For the rest of the
day,
they talked and comforted each other like reconciling sisters.
****************************************
//The words that I remember
>From my childhood still are true
That there's none so blind
As those who will not see
And to those who lack the courage
And say it's dangerous to try
Well they just don't know
That love eternal will not be denied//
Lacroix sighed. Another week had passed and Nicholas was still
brooding.
He tried everything he could think of, but Nicholas, being
stubborn, had
resisted his attempts. He was seriously considering telling him
that
Natalie had not died.
he thought, Somebody had brought her to the
hospital, then she vanished a few days later. He knew that she
was
looking for Nicholas, but could she really find him? For some
reason, he
had the feeling that she -would- find him, no matter what. Maybe
it was
Fate, maybe it was True Love, but somehow he knew that it was
inevitable....
*********************************
//I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you//
The lead they were following was the right one, Natalie was sure
of it.
Janette was sure as well as she reached out through her link and
felt
Nick's presence.
"We're close, aren't we Janette. I can feel it. He's
near!" Natalie
exclaimed as they reached a small town in the mountains.
Janette nodded. After their talk almost a week ago, they had
started to
become friends. They shared common things, mostly concerning
Nichola.
They both understood each other better as well, and that was a
beginning.
They drove into the small town a few hours after sunset. They
parked the
car and got a room at the local bed & breakfast.
As they were getting settled in their room, Janette walked
outside and
looked at the night's sky. "Where are you, Nichola?"
she asked quietly.
Natalie walked silently to her friend's side. she thought,
Natalie didn't say anything. She just stood there with Janette.
She
knew that her newfound friend deep in thought and she didn't want
to
disturb her. It was strange how she sometimes knew what Janette
was
feeling. Maybe it was the bond of having been through a similar
trauma.
a small voice told her,
Either way, she was glad she had a better understanding of the
woman
beside her. She wasn't really so bad....
"Natalie, I am going to fly tonight. We are close, I just
need to
pinpoint his location. I promise not to approach him if I find
him. We
do that together," Janette said softly.
Natalie nodded and Janette took off into the night.
______________________
//You know it's going to happen
I can feel you getting near
And soon we'll be returning
To the fountains of our youth
And if you wake up wondering
In the darkness I'll be there
My arms will close around you
And protect you with the truth//
Lacroix felt someone looking for him. It was a familiar, yet
unfamiliar
sensation. he concluded,
Lacroix thought. With his ex-daughter's help the
doctor would find his son. The life in
Nicholas had been gone since the night they left Toronto and he
knew it
was because of Natalie. Maybe it was time to let go of his son as
well.
If he did, at least there was always hope that his errant child
would
return in his own time....
Janette returned to their room. "I've found him,
Natalie," she said
quickly. Natalie smiled happily and noticed Janette seemed
nervous.
"Don't worry, you'll be fine and you won't be alone,"
Natalie said,
supporting Janette. "So, how do we get there?"
"I'll have to fly us both there. It shouldn't take long.
Make sure you
wear something warm, too," Janette said as she gathered some
supplies
into a bag.
Natalie got her things together and Janette flew them across the
night's
sky to meet Nick.
*****************************************
//I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice//
Nick sat watching the creatures in the forest. His mind drifted,
as it
did more often than not these days. And his thoughts always
drifted one
way, to his Natalie. His beautiful, light-filled, loving Natalie.
He
would think about her every day, he would not allow her memory to
fade.
He could not kill himself, nor would Lacroix do it for him, so he
figured
the second best way to keep his promise of forever was to
-remember- her
forever. When everyone else in the world had died and her name
forgotten, he would remember and never let go. His heart would be
with
her forever until he could join her. He would not betray her, not
again,
not ever.
Nick looked into the clear starry night suddenly, taken out of
his
thoughts by the feeling of somebody searching for him. It was
Janette...and someone else. A hope he had not felt since leaving
Toronto
overwhelmed him without reason.
Lacroix came out of the house onto the back porch, where Nicholas
was
standing watching the sky. He had felt the sudden change in his
son's
demeanor and knew that it was over. They were coming.
Nick saw Lacroix come out of the house. His fathers face was
as
unreadable as
ever, except for a tiny slip. He saw defeat in his master's eyes
and
perhaps a bit of realization. Nick turned his attention skyward
again, a
strange anticipation and fear clutching at him. As the sensation
got
stronger, he began to realize it was Janette and -Natalie-.
He glared at Lacroix. "You knew! You knew she was alive,
didn't you?!"
Nick said, angry that his master would trick him so.
"Yes, I knew. I realize now it was the wrong thing to do. I
should have
let you go long ago," Lacroix said sadly. He didn't say
anything else,
just walked back into the house, leaving a stunned Nick to watch
his
retreating form.
//I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to you//
"Nick?" a questioning voice asked. He turned and his
eyes lit up with
renewed life and hope. He felt his smile could never be big
enough to
convey the happiness and love he felt as he gazed at Natalie. His
Natalie, alive! He saw her return his smile and approached her.
She
watched him with loving eyes and laughed with joy as he swept her
into
his arms and hugged her tightly.
"Oh Nat, I didn't know! I...I thought you were dead. Lacroix
said you
were dead but wouldn't destroy me. I wanted to die, to be with
you...,"
Nick said, trying to explain what happened.
"Shh, I know Nick. Janette knew some of what happened
through your link
and told me. It's all right," Natalie said soothingly to
Nick.
"If I had known, I would never have left! I won't leave you
again, no
matter what!" he said. He kissed her passionately on the
lips and held
her close. After a few moments, he felt Natalie push him away. He
gave
her a wounded look, but Natalie just smiled and stepped away as
Janette
approached them.
"Nichola...I had come at first with the intention of venting
my anger for
what you did to me, bringing me back across. However, over the
past few
weeks I realized that screaming at you would do no good,"
Janette said,
glancing at Natalie. Natalie smiled and put an arm on her friends
shoulder, offering support. "What we need to do is have a
long talk.
About why you did what you did and what it has done to me. After
that, I
think I will leave for a while or I may stay with Lacroix for a
time."
"Well, if we're going to talk, it's best if we go
inside," Nick motioned
for the two women to follow him. He closed the sliding door as
soon as
they were inside and led them to a spacious living room furnished
with a
coffee table, several black leather chairs and a matching couch.
"Nick, you and Janette talk. Is there someplace I can
sleep?" Natalie
asked. The fatigue of the past few weeks was showing and now that
she
had found what she was searching for, she knew she would be able
to sleep
soundly. Nick lead her upstairs to his bedroom and gently kissed
her
lips before he left the room.
He spent most of the evening and the early morning talking with
Janette.
Once in a while one or the other would come close to yelling, but
both
were finally talking and listening and understanding.
Lacroix watched from the shadows as his children spoke. No, not
children, they had grown too old to be called that. Companions.
Would
things have been better had he treated them like that from the
beginning?
He thought about it for a moment, but decided dwelling on
"what if and
"should have been" was a waste of time.
As they finished their talk, Lacroix joined them. Janette got up
and
gave Lacroix a hug. "Father," she whispered in
Lacroix's ear, "I heard
about Divia. I am sorry to hear of your loss. I have decided that
I
want to travel with you again, if you will let me."
Lacroix smiled at his ex-daughter's use of "father". No
matter what
changes their lives go through, he would still be their father,
and it
gave him some comfort. "I would like that very much. And
what of you
Nicholas. Are you coming with us?" Lacroix asked, "or
will you be
staying with your precious mortal?" he spat, unconsciously
trying to hurt
Nick. He was surprised by Janette's look of displeasure. He
didn't say
anything more, a sort of apology.
Nick glared at Lacroix. "I WILL be staying with Natalie.
What we're
going to do, I don't know. We need to talk, but I think it's
something
we can both handle," he said.
"Janette, I will miss you. Please, stay in touch with
Natalie and me.
I'm sure we'd both like to see you again," Nick said as he
hugged her.
After a nod to Lacroix, Nick went upstairs to Natalie.
"We must get ready. I want to leave as soon as
possible," Janette said
happily. After months of pain and anger, the nightmare was
finally over.
The pain and anguish in her link with Nichola was gone, replaced
by more
joy than she ever thought was possible. She could even feel
Natalie
through the link. Weak as it was, she could feel both Nick and
Natalie
and knew she would never truly be alone. The family she had felt
fall
apart was back together.
Nick quietly entered the room and sat on the bed next to Natalie.
She
was sleeping so peacefully. Janette had told him about some of
her time
with Natalie. He was glad that they had become friends. He loved
them
both deeply, though it was Natalie who had won his heart, just as
Robert
had won Janette's.
Natalie stirred a bit and saw Nick looking at her.
"Hi," she mumbled
groggily. "You gonna sleep?"
Nick grinned and climbed into bed next to Natalie. He pulled her
close
and held her. "I knew you were out here somewhere, Nick. And
I found
you, didn't I," she mumbled happily just before falling
asleep again.
The End