Flashes of Insight
by Father Nat and Mother Superior/Sister Dementia
"Geez, Nick," Nat said, after pulling out yet another bullet from tonights
festivities from Nick's side. "You won't be able to wear this in a deli..
they'll try and stick it on a sandwich, thinking it's a piece of swiss
"But, Nat, I like this coat."
"I like my shoes, too, but when the heel goes, they do too. C'mon, Nick,
it's not like you don't have the money to replace it."
"It's not the money."
Natalie stopped, and looked up at him. //*sigh*// "OK, which great dead
person gave this to you?"
Nick got that far-away look, and Nat swatted him. "No, no zoning out.
"You're kidding. No, that would be appropriate. Are you serious?"
Natalie started checking out the lining for horns, silverware, and that
frizzy blonde wig. Nick looked on as Natalie tore his coat apart. "Well, I
guess *that* settles it. I checked... it's empty."
Natalie pouted, and looked up. "Oh, well. Worth a shot - no pun intended."
Nick smiled and tapped her on the nose. "Okay. I'll go out and buy another
one, just for you. Good?"
She smiled back and poked a finger through one of the holes, her finger
wiggled around in it. "Yes."
Nick sauntered into the precinct. "Hey Schanke." Don looked up. "Sheesh.
Where did you get *that,* Nick?"
"You like it? It's not too long, is it?" Nick stroked the side of the
object of Don's admiration and held it close to his body.
"Not bad. 'Course, I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less hanging
off of you. Have you shown Nat yet? She'll love it...You probably won't be
able to get it away from her."
Nick smiled, then noticed another tag hanging off his new coat. "How many
of these are here? I've picked off three already."
Schanke helped pull one or two more tags off, as Nick looked up. "Uh,
Schank,I think I'm going to go show Nat what I've got. See ya in a few."
"Sure, Pard. Make it quick, though, we've got the Rookie Patrol coming in
tonight, and we don't want them to miss Wonder Boy in action."
"I don't think they'll miss it. Right, guys?"
Nick smiled and beat a hasty retreat as Schanke turned to the smiling faces
of a dozen rookies. "Oh, boy...."
Nick entered the morgue, almost skipping like a school girl with delight as
he thought bout showing Nat his new coat. He located his favourite coroner
and sidled up behind her. "Hey, I've got omething to show you."
Natalie was bending over her desk but stood up straight when she heard his
words, a smile spread over her face. "Really? Now pray tell, what could
that be?" She turned around and smirked when he gave her a really odd look.
"I got a new coat. " He suddenly looked a lot like the girl from Clueless
as he put his hands on his hips and asked. "What did you think I meant?"
She opened her mouth but thought better of it and just shook her head.
"Nothing. Now, turn around Kitten and let me see this coat."
Schanke led his troupe of newbies into the coroner's building. Muttering
about baby sitting this group, he waited for the last ones to straggle in.
"Now, we in the department arent the only ones doing detective work.
Here's the ME's office. There's not a lot of excitement here, but what
they do helps us out tremendously. And from what Natalie - the head
coroner for the night shift,
you'll meet her later - says, it's always very fulfilling interacting with
the police. She helps my partner and I - well, mostly my partner - out
>From down the hall, he could have sworn he heard Natalie say "But, it looks
"You can't... Nat, you're pulling it too hard."
"Nick, it's the only way I can get it off."
Schanke knew he misheard that. "Now, first is the check-in. Here's where
we get the preliminary paperwork, normally." His monologue weakened as he
listened some more.
"Well, if you want to take it home with you, why don't you just get the
scissors and just snip it off? It's a lot quicker, and you won't be yanking
it around so much."
"If that's how you're going to be, I just might do that."
" I still need to break it in some, but I've gotten rather attached to
it...Not so hard, Nat! It doesn't stretch that much!"
"Settle down, Nick - it takes time to do this right. Now just let me take
care of it and it'll all be over - I promise, it's painless. I used to do
this to my boyfriends in college all the time!"
"Geez, Nat. Do you have to be so rough?"
Schanke hesitated - he wasn't sure he *wanted* to know. But, the tour
must go on. He took a deep breath. "And here's where it gets interesting,
folks. This is the... uh, examination room. Nat does some of her best work
in here." He swung the doors open as the rookies crowded around.
Inside, his partner stood with his coat wide open, and he could see Natalie
on her knees from underneath the hem. A compilation of mouths fell open as
they heard Natalie singing, "When I think of you, I touch my... "
Nick's head swiveled around as they heard the door open... "...Schank!"
Tracy Chin, the youngest of the rookies, looked puzzled. "Touch your what?"
Natalie dropped the scissors, and the tag she was cutting, and fell to the
Her demented coroners mind had the last thought on the situation. 'Now
that's an orientation they will never forget!'