All in Love Is Fair

by Kathy Whelton

Archived December, 2002
Warning: This story is rated R. If you are under 
18 years then  please do not read any further

     Nick walked hesitantly down the hallway towards Natalie's
apartment. She hadn't said yes when he asked her about a 
video date for this evening, but she hadn't said no either. In fact,
she had said very little about anything to him lately unless
it had to do with work. She had been more than a little preoccupied
and short tempered around him recently and he was afraid he had
only himself to blame. He knew how increasingly difficult their
relationship, or lack thereof, was on her and his attempts to 
pretend that he didn't notice were getting less and less credible.

     He didn't know quite when it happened, when the friendship had
turned to something else, but it was becoming undeniable. The
truth of the matter was, he didn't want to deny it, he simply didn't
feel that he had any choice.  He looked at the video in his
hand, a harmless comedy.  He knew that glossing over the way
they were feeling with humor wasn't the answer, but he hoped
that it would buy him just a little more time with her. He wasn't
ready to give her up, not just yet, although he knew that with
the way things were it was only a matter a time before he would
have to move on. It was the only way to be fair to her.

    He stopped outside the apartment and inclined his head towards
the door. Natalie had only finished work an hour ago but the last
thing he wanted was to disturb her if she was asleep already. 
He smiled as the soft echo of her heartbeat came back to him. He
lifted his hand to the door to knock, then caught it just in time. 
Privacy was an invention of the twentieth century and the sounds
that were coming through the door were as old as time itself. 
The sound of her familiar, single heartbeat told him that she was
alone.  The soft moans he heard told him that she was pleasuring
herself. Nick rested his head lightly against the door, unable to
tear himself away. 

   Nick stalked out of the building and slid into the caddy, slamming
the car door behind him with a force that threatened to shatter
the glass. He didn't know what had taken him more by surprise,
Natalie's actions, or his reaction to them. Why shouldn't she?
She had physical needs just like everyone else, she certainly
wasn't getting those needs met through him. Nick glanced up at
her balcony and the dim light shining through the french doors.
The curtains were open to the night sky.

      Nick came to rest lightly on the corner of the balcony and
cautiously peered around the corner of the curtain.  He thought
he had prepared himself for the sight of her, but nothing he had
ever imagined in his fantasies had even come close.  She was 
sprawled, gloriously naked,  in the center of her bed. Natalie
was resting on her abdomen, a pillow propped under her hips.
The soft, rounded curve of her buttocks were rocking gently back
and forth as she pressed herself against the object that she held 
in her hand. A smile came to his lips. This was not the modest,
demur lover that he had always imagined she would be, but someone
totally at ease with her own body, her own needs. He
could see the dildo, moist with her fluids as she thrust it deeply
within her. She was totally exposed to him and he reveled in the 
view. He could feel his desire rapidly overtaking his reason as
he watched her pink lips swell with pleasure.


    Somehow the coolness of it made it all seem more real to her.
She could imagine Nick, penetrating her, thrusting into her with
an almost animal-like ferocity. She readjusted her grip and pressed
the instrument even further into her, just a little past the point of
comfort. What would it really be like to be with him, feel him
deep within her? She moaned softly at the thought of him taking
her like this, roughly, without a thought for her needs. Or would
he be a tender and patient teacher, his only concern for her pleasure? 

    Natalie shifted slightly, pressing the other side of her face
into the bed. She thought for a moment she had seen some small 
movement out of the corner of her eye, but quickly dismissed
the idea. Sydney was safely secured in the other room, she was
merely used to the sight of him scooting about the apartment. She
shook the thought from her head and eased the vibrator deeply
into her once again. She could feel the warmth growing within her
as she did and she began rocking, arching into the sensation
with even greater intensity.

   Nick pressed himself against the wall, quickly grabbing the 
railing to steady himself. She had almost seen him. He should go,
now.  Hell, he should never have come up here in the first place.
What he was doing was despicable and he hated himself for
it. He could feel his fangs, aching to descend. It was fortunate for
both of them that the doors were tightly closed, if the scent of
her came to him now, he shuddered to think what might happen.
As it was he could barely overcome the urge to force his way
into her bedroom and take her, drain her completely. His friend.
His best friend. Her soft moaning came to him once again and
he knew that she had dismissed him as a shadow, a trick of the
eyes on a dark night. How many before her had made that same
mistake and died for their error? He turned himself to the window
once again. He would go, but he needed to see her like this one
last time, a memory that he could carry with him forever. He
peeked into the room. She was up on her knees now, her hand
between her legs, driving the object into her with an even greater
intensity. Her chestnut hair was wild, cascading about her shoulders,
her eyes shut tight in intense concentration. The beat of
her heart called to him and his body pressed against the glass
in response.

   Natalie's eyes flew open. The scratch against the glass was
no illusion. There was someone out there, on the balcony, watching
her. Had she locked the door? She was usually very careful, but
then again she didn't usually masturbate in front of an open window 
either. The most important thing was not to panic, act as if she
was unaware of his presence. She quickly measured the distance to
the phone and  to the bathroom beyond where the lock may provide
her with some protection, if only for a brief time. She eased the
vibrator out of her and let it fall onto the bed. 

   Nick sank against the outer wall of the building. He could hear
her heart racing as if it would explode. She knew that someone
was out here, he was sure of it. She just didn't know who. He looked
up into the moonless night. How tempting to just go, never
take responsibility for his actions. Hell, he could be back to the loft
in time for her to call him, looking for security and comfort. 

   Nick stepped into the light that shone through the doorway
just as Natalie reached for the phone. The doorknob turned easily
and the door swung open. "Nat, it's's just me." Nick held
his hands up as if that would somehow reassure her.

    "Nick? What are....?" Natalie's eyes darted around, looking for
something to cover herself with. Finding nothing, she pressed her
hands across her breasts and pubic area. The relief she first felt
upon seeing him drained away as she slowly realized that he was
no savior this time, it was he that had been out there all along. She
quickly scrambled off the bed and bolted into the bathroom, 
slamming the door behind her.

      Nick rapped softly against the wood of the bathroom door.
"Nat...Nat I think we should talk."

     Talk? He had to be out of his mind. She was never coming out 
of this bathroom as long as she lived, let alone speak to him again.
She couldn't decide whether to be absolutely furious or to settle
for completely mortified. "Just go Nick...please."

   "Nat, I'm not leaving until you hear me out. Please, open the 
door. You know we have to talk about this."

   Only the thought of facing him the next night at work finally
persuaded her to open the door. She had slid on her pink, terrycloth
robe and she clutched it closed tightly around her. "What is it
you want to say, Nick? What could you possible have to say
that could make this all right?"

   "I just wanted to apologize, Nat," he said quietly. "I don't 
expect you to forgive me...ever. I just wanted you to know how
truly sorry I am. What I did was despicable, unforgivable, I
know that."

   Her mind raced. Never in all the years she had known him had
she ever considered him capable of something like this.  "What I
need to know, Nick, is if this was the first time, or are you in the
habit of hanging around outside my windows?"

     Nick sagged against the doorway. "I swear, Nat, this has never
happened before and you don't have to worry,  it'll never happen

   "I'd like to believe you, Nick, I just don't know if I can." The
shock from it all was still in her voice. "Why tonight, of all nights?"
she questioned.

    "I came to see if you wanted to watch a movie." Nick was 
amazed to see that he still clutched the tape in his hand. "I listened
at the door; I didn't want to take a chance of waking you." Nick dropped
his eyes to the floor. "I could hear...hear what you were doing. I don't
know what came over me. I was in the caddy, ready to leave.
I just had to see you."

   She had to acknowledge that his confession had a ring of truth
to it. But even if he was telling the truth, how could she ever trust
him again? "You could've just left; I had no idea it was you."

   "I know," Nick managed to meet her eyes again. "I remember
the hell you went through after Roger Jamieson.  I couldn't
do that to you again. I couldn't let you worry that someone may
be stalking you, may try to hurt you. I couldn't bear to be the
cause of that kind of pain."

    She remembered the terror she felt when she thought it was a 
stranger. How relieved she was when she saw it was him. "Instead
you thought it was better for me to be totally humiliated." Natalie
flushed deeply at the thought of what she had been doing. Did
she really have to pick tonight to stick her ass up in the air?

   "No, please, Nat. Don't be embarrassed." Nick stepped over to
her and gently cupped her cheek. "You were so beautiful, so
magnificent. What you were doing was normal and healthy, you
know that. I'm just sorry I had to ruin it." Nick wrapped his
arms gently around her. "It just made me want you so much, I 
just couldn't help myself." He gently covered her hair with kisses.

   He wanted her. He had never even come close to saying that
before. Whenever they seemed to be getting closer, he would
run away, hide the feelings that she had always suspected were
there. "I wasn't sure how you felt, Nick."

   "Maybe it's time I showed you." Nick took her hands in his and
began to slowly lead her towards the bed. Without her holding 
on to it, Natalie's robe fell open, revealing her naked body to him.
She quickly grabbed the edges to pull it shut once again. "Please,
don't," Nick said softly. "I want to look at you." Nick placed his
hands on the lapels of the robe and slowly pulled the material 
from her shoulders. "You are just so beautiful, Nat. I never want
you to hide yourself from me." He let the robe drop to the floor
and continued leading her to the bed and guided her on to it.

    Nat felt herself shiver as she lay down on the cool sheets.
Did she really know what she was getting into here? A few 
moments ago he was peeping through her windows, something
that she never would have thought him capable of, and now
she was preparing to surrender herself to him, to make love to 
him, something he had always implied to her was an impossibility.

   Nick brushed his hand across her cheek. He could see the concern
 in her eyes. "It's all right, Nat, I'm not going to hurt you. I'll never hurt
 I promise." Nick slid onto the bed and began kissing her tenderly,
 gently easing his tongue into her mouth. He wanted so desperately
 to let her know how much she meant to him, how much he loved
 her. He was determined to hold onto that tonight, no matter how
 her blood might call to him. Nick carefully slid his hand to her
 breast, gently teasing the nipple with his fingers. He had always
 loved her breasts, they were soft and full yet they did not dominate
 her body the way they did on some women. He trailed his kisses
 down the length of her body, pausing to tease her lightly with his tongue
 as he progressed. He could hear her heartbeat, steady now. She was
 beginning to overcome a bit of her initial fears and allow herself to relax
 and enjoy his attentions. 

     Nick reached her soft mound and delicately encircled the area
before boldly plunging his tongue into her. He felt his fangs 
drop abruptly as he filled himself with her scent. Nick carefully
pressed  the sharp outline of his teeth against her, careful not to 
break the skin.  Above him, he heard Nat gasp in surprise and he
withdrew, only to return his tongue to her a moment later. He 
began gently lapping her clitoris, carefully varying the intensity
of his caresses. 

   Natalie felt herself melt into the bed at the sensation of his
mouth on her. She could feel the hard contour of his fangs against
her delicate tissues. She knew that she should probably manage
at least a modicum of concern, but somehow she just couldn't.
She didn't care what he was doing as long as he didn't stop. 
Natalie suddenly felt a cool hardness pressing against her vagina
and realized that he had somehow managed to grab the vibrator
off of the bed without her noticing and was inserting it into her.
She moaned deeply as she felt the pressure within her grow. He
was easing it in, slowly turning it as if he was concerned about 
hurting her. Natalie thrust herself downward, almost violently,
taking them both by surprise. She could hear Nick chuckling
softly at her brazenness. 

   Nick lifted himself up and rested on the bed beside her, never
faltering in the thrusts he provided with the dildo. His eyes were
flecked with tinges of gold, but his face spoke openly of his 
feelings for her. He brushed his left hand across her hair, looking
deeply into her eyes. "I just wanted to be able to see you, to look
at your face while..." He caught himself before he said it, 'while we
make love'. This was a weak imitation at best. Yet he was determined
to make it as pleasurable for her as he possibly could.

    Natalie was breathless as the powerful thrusting continued
 within her. It was so easy to imagine that it was Nick within her,
 making love to her. She spread her legs wide in an effort to take
 him more and more into her. He artfully varied the depth and
 intensity of his strokes, lightly brushing his thumb against her
 sensitive nub each time he entered. Natalie felt her own body join
 in the rhythm of his strokes. She felt the warmth begin to grow within
  her groin and pushed herself against it. She heard herself calling
 his name desperately, unable to stop as the violent sensations cascaded
 over her.  She brought her legs up, wrapping them tightly around
 his body, hugging him firmly as the sensation slowly subsided.
 She felt him slide the vibrator from her and saw him toss it to
 the side of the bed.

      Natalie purred blissfully, snuggling her body into Nick's. "That
was...something, Nick. Thank you." He had been surprisingly
quiet during this whole thing and she carefully met his eyes,
uncertain of what she would find there. "Are you doing okay?"

  The eyes that stared back at her were blue. "I'm wonderful, Nat.
Um...does this mean I'm forgiven?"

   "I don't know about that. It seems to me you should have to work
just a little bit harder than that if you expect me to forgive and
forget." Before he could resist, Natalie had snaked her hand down
the front of his pants. "I mean plastic is one thing but sometimes
a girl wants the genuine article," she giggled softly. Natalie's
hand easily found it's destination. She cupped Nick's soft,
 cool genitals in her hand, gently stroking him with her
 thumb and forefinger.

   "Nat, don't," Nick pleaded.

    Natalie was the first to admit that her experience in sexual matters
 was less than overwhelming, but even a quick skim of a
cheap romance novel would tell her that *something* should be
happening here. Unless. Unless, he really did think of  her as a sister,
a friend, his doctor. Unless he had made love to her because he felt
sorry for her, or to get himself off the hook for his earlier actions.
She hastily withdrew her hand from his pants and sat up. "Sorry, if I was
any bother," she commented angrily. "I didn't mean to put you
to any trouble."

   Nick caught her arm as she rose to get off the bed. "Nat, it's not
 you," he paused. He would give anything not to have to tell her this. 
 "It's's because of what I am."

    Natalie had certainly read more than her share of vampire lore
 over the past five years. There was a certain  school of thought that
 maintained that vampires obtained all their sexual pleasure through
 the sharing of blood; that they were in fact, impotent. Nick had never
 implied that to her in any way, so she had merely dismissed it as
 yet another unsubstantiated myth. "Nick," she started slowly, "you
 never said anything. I had no idea."

    "The biting, the blood sharing, it's everything to us," Nick 
explained carefully. "It's how we function sexually, at least the

     "Nick, I'm supposed to be your doctor.  I'm supposed to be
your friend," she added softly. "I just wish you had said something."
   "That I couldn't get an erection," he stated angrily. "I can't 
imagine why I wouldn't have rushed to tell you that." Nick swung
his legs off the side of the bed. "I kept hoping...," his voice
broke. "I've wanted to make love to you as a man for a very
long time, Nat. I guess it's about time that I faced the fact that it's
not going to happen."

   Natalie crawled up behind him on the bed and rested her hand
on his shoulder. "We did just make love, Nick. It's the feeling that's
important, not the technique." She gave herself a moment to 
consider. "Please tell me that this isn't what's been holding us
back all this time."

   Nick managed a smile. "Well that and the fact I want to rip your
throat out whenever we get too close."

   "I was afraid you were going to say that," Natalie returned his
smile. "It seems to me that you just did awfully well controlling 

    Nick shrugged. "Sometimes it's easier than others." He rested
his hand on top of hers. "I guess I was just a little preoccupied
thinking about you. It doesn't matter now anyway." Nick shifted
his weight and prepared to stand.

   "What do you mean it doesn't matter?" Natalie pressed her weight
onto his shoulders and forced him to sit back down. "You don't
think you're getting out of this that easily do you? I haven't said
I've forgiven you yet."

   "There is nothing more to be said, Nat. I cannot function as a
human male. We cannot have a sexual relationship. End of story."

    "That's not the way I see it, Nick. It seems to me that if you
can control the biting thing, we can work on the rest." She dropped
her voice. "It doesn't matter to me if we can't have intercourse."

    "It doesn't matter to you?" Nick asked coldly. He reached under
the pillow and pulled out a magazine. He flicked quickly through
the pages. It was a cheap rag that one of the techs  had given her
as a joke on Valentine's day. Horrible shots showing men with
impossibly long penises. Nick flung the magazine across the
room. "Of course it matters," he hissed at her.

   "So that's what you think of me, that I'm that shallow? It's a 
ridiculous magazine for God's sake, Nick." She rested her hand
on his cheek. "It's you that I've wanted for a very long time, I'm
not about to give up on that now."

   Nick felt himself respond as she spoke. Her eyes were so clear,
so earnest. It was obvious that she believed every word she said.
She believed it now, would she still feel the same way in five or ten

   Natalie could see him relenting as she softly stroked his face.
She moved her hands down and began unbuttoning his shirt.

  Nick's hands caught hers in motion. "Nat, no."

   "Yes, Nick," she answered quietly. "I want to see you, all of
you, tonight. I want to feel your skin against mine." Nick withdrew
his hands and allowed her to continue. She slid his shirt easily off
his shoulders, running her hands across his smooth bare skin. He
had always kept himself carefully covered, even when she was
digging bullets out of him. How many times had she dreamed of
doing this?  Natalie felt him tense as she reached down to unbuckle 
his belt. Maybe she was rushing things, maybe it would be better
if she gave both of them a chance to get used to this idea.  She
quickly rejected the thought; she knew if they backed off from
this now, they would never get another chance.  She also realized that
she couldn't begin to know how this felt for him.  "It's all right, Nick,"
she whispered to him. Natalie let his trousers slide easily to
the floor. He was probably slightly larger than averaged sized, although
not conspicuously so, uncircumcised, which is how she had always
imagined him to be. The rest of his body was firm with
well developed thighs and a really nice butt, undoubtedly the
result of eons in the saddle.

   "Pretty unimpressive, uh?" he asked before she realized
how blatantly she was staring at him.

   Natalie folded her body into his. "On the contrary, Detective
Knight. I'm pretty damned impressed with you tonight. Now come
on," she tugged him towards the bed. "I want to get to know you
a little bit better."

The End